something i came up with just now.. i know it isnt that good but im only 13 remember!!^__^
---
the dawn of a new day,
light spilling onto his golden hair,
shadowing hers,
lips intertwined.
i watch from afar,
broken-heartedly,
and i can only cry
as my love,
my hopes,
my dreams,
my life
slowly
fade
away.
---
so now you've read it, tell me what you think! be honost though! ^__^

<3
~hikari-chan14

Its good. Better than what I can come up with

awww...thanx!!!^__~
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i love it ^.^ so much better than my poems T-T mine suck ^.^ and......I LOVE YOUR SIG! both pic and words lol but back to the poem *gets very serious then falls asleep*zzzzzzz 10/10 zzzzzz

wow...you guys are too kind to me...i really thought if it in 5 minutes..^__^U and i bet your poems dont suck at all!!
and thanx...the sig was made by DarkFireZe
~hikari-chan14
----

That was nice

its not to bad or too good. its just in between. so i say keep working on it and you'll do good. if your English skills and words are used good, you'll do good. i could help if you want.

awsome.

the beginning was rocky but later on it was great
keep working on it and itll become fabulous ^^

hikari, if you come up with more poems. just post them if you want. we'll tell you our opinions. i could probably help you with the poems. pm them if you want. all i know if that they would be worth reading or heard

what Ankh13 said. The beginning was kind of rough, and doesn't exactly connect with the rest of the poem. But you ended it nicely. I liked it.

It's very good, makes sense and is nicely constructed.