I showed this to my mom because she asked to read it. She thinks I should go to some type of group for rape victims and share it because it might help them. I don't know. Please tell me what you think. I know it's not poeticly to form or anything, I wrote most of it while crying my eyes out so if it turned out perfect I would have been shocked.

Pain Relived

Some people have the privilege
To forget what they once saw,
But I am not so gifted
For I must relive it all.

I remember what I felt
That obsessive devotion;
It makes me sick to recall
That most foolish emotion.

I felt a desperation,
A need for him to love me.
Blinded by my strong feelings,
I allowed him to use me.

I remember what I felt
For I must relieve it all.
My brain will not accept
What my memory recalls.

He told me what he wanted,
And because I was his slave,
I pleasured him in darkness;
To him everything I gave.

He promised me one thing though
That he wouldn't pressure me,
If I gave him all the rest,
To give him my virginity.

But purity has fallen
Into the hands of death,
And the innocence of a girl
Has been put to final rest.

One dark night he told me
To close my eyes and wait.
I'm smart enough to know now,
But now it's much too late.

What happened that night I see
In dark nightmarish dreams,
As he made his first attempts
To defile and rape me.

I jerked away the first time,
But his temper quickly rose.
I only wanted to be loved;
This was the path I chose.

He told me not to move;
I was scared to disobey,
So I laid there and allowed him
To take my innocence away.

I should have pushed him off;
I should have told him no;
I should have screamed and shouted;
But at the time I didn't know.

He promised he would marry me;
He said it would be okay;
But now that it's too late,
I know I can't trust what I heard him say.

Oh, how I wish that I was gifted
To forget where I've been,
But I am forced to relive
All this pain I hold within.